Occupational Health
A Banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
(Mark Twain)
An Accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value
of nothing.
An Economist is an expert who will tomorrow why the things he predicted
yesterday didn’t happen today.
A Mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that
isn’t there. (Charles Darwin)
A Statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality
to be an accountant.
A Professor is someone who talks in someone else’s sleep.
A Consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you
the time.
A Psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl
enters the room.
A Diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
you will look forward to the trip.
An Engineer is someone who has the solution on how to pound a square peg
into a round hole but not on why.
A Programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in
a way that you don’t understand.
A Lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a 'brief'.
(Frank Kafka)
A School Teacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
An Auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the
wounded.
An Actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases
the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
(Lawrence J Peter)
A Topologist is a man who doesn’t know the difference between a coffee
cup and a doughnut.
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