Do YOU read too much Discworld? Here is how you tell!

  1. You hold insightful conversations with Mr.Jelly.
  2. You have ever tasted dried frog pills.
  3. You know the recipe to Mr.Dibbler's sausage-inna-bun.
  4. You go to bed with a sign reading `I ATEN'T DEAD'.
  5. You have ever hidden alcohol in your hat-tip.
  6. When writing research papers, you ask the orangutans at the zoo for help navigating the library's reference section.
  7. You have used the phrase `Millenium hand and shrimp'.
  8. You are always kind to cats, just in case the dude with the glowing blue eye-sockets shows up unexpectedly.
  9. You dread receiving a note from Mr.Ixolite.
  10. You fly into a berserker rage in the presence of snow-globes.
  11. You talk to gargoyles and expect an answer.
  12. You actually HAVE gotten an answer.
  13. When being robbed/mugged/assassinated, you ask to see a licence.
  14. You know all the words to the Hedgehog Song.
  15. When buying travel accessories, you ask the clerk if the suitcases have legs, and complain loudly when you discover they do not.
  16. You are trained in the arts of the hat-pin.
  17. Your computer has an FTB.
  18. You run for cover at the sight of yellow butterflies.
  19. Your cat once treed a grizzly.
  20. You know all the words to `A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End'.
  21. When applying for university courses, you are/were shocked to find that Magic 1000 does not exist.
  22. Mention of the word `gimlet' has you thinking of the dwarf who owns the Delicatessen on Cable Street.
  23. Your compost heap glows in the dark.
  24. Ook ook eek ook.
  25. You understood number 24.
  26. The local pet store refuses to sell you turtles because of The Elephant Incident.
  27. You have willingly eaten vindaloo.
  28. You painted your budgie black and named him `Quoth'.
  29. You are sorely disappointed to discover that not one of your math teachers is/was a camel.
  30. You always treat tortoises with great respect. Just in case.
  31. Your biggest fear about sailing is going overthe edge.
  32. When someone speaks of the north and/or south poles, you comment that you didn't know they were Omnian.
  33. When walking outside in darkness, you tread extra carefully around large rocks.
  34. When hearing about our democracy, you vaguely wonder which man has the vote.
  35. When a person of the same sex invites you to play croquet, you blushingly decline.
  36. When someone ask you if you have a watch, you direct them to the police.
  37. When in Glasgow, you get amazed by how the NMF has grown.
  38. You stay indoors during Halloween.
  39. When seeing a mime in the street, you stay to watch the arrest.
  40. You ask your pharmacist for sonkies for a Friday night.
  41. When visiting the Louvre, you look for the teeth on Mona Lisa.
  42. You try to walk on the surface of the Thames.
  43. When the battery in your camera runs out, you fill it up with paint.
  44. You're afraid to say the word "m*nk*y", especially in a library.
  45. You shout "Om-damnit!" when frustrated, or say other similar things such as "Thank Om", etc. (Or "Offler...", or "Blind-Io...", etc.)
  46. You're afraid of having bread thrown at you.
  47. You use footnotes when speaking.
  48. You laugh whenever you hear the word "seamstress".
  49. You reply "What big hippo?" whenever someone says "Aargh".
  50. You intenthionally thpeak like thith.
  51. The phrase "lend me a hand" makes you nervous.
  52. You're afraid to use wooden dishes or utensils for anything with egg in it.
  53. You wear thin-soled shoes so you can tell where you are by the texture of the ground.


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